This morning I felt exhausted. I’d gotten a good night sleep even though my younger one crawled into my bed around 2am. Something in me feels tense and fearful and worn out. It might be that I’ve been working a lot, that my husband is away on business so I’ve been alone with the kids, or it might be that the very idea of this new story scares me so thoroughly that I am feeling around for every possible reason to abandon it. I don’t have to stretch for reasons. My paying work is piling up and in the last few days, my mind has been scattered so I’ve been making stupid (though fixable) mistakes.
This morning I looked for help from my betters and came across these two quotes:
“How do I work? I grope.” — Albert Einstein
“When you get into a tight place and everything goes against you until it seems that you cannot hold on for a minute longer, never give up then, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn.” — Harriet Beecher Stowe.
Two progressive thinkers can’t be wrong that even my floundering will eventually pan out. If only I could stop putting pressure on myself.