How to work naughty words into your author bio

One of the best things about writing books, is writing author bios for back covers, blogs, your twitter account, on Red Room, etc. It’s totally narcissistic, and also, crazy fun. Of course, not all author bios are fun, and that’s really unfortunate because even if you need to show college cred to promote your well-researched book on 8th century kings, it doesn’t mean your bio needs to read like tax law.

I think of my many bios like breadcrumbs. All of them have slightly different information so that your poor eyeballs won’t dry out from boredom if you came across my bio in different places. Plus, since they all tell something new, hopefully you’ll find them interesting. Entertaining, even.

So if you write non-fiction, you probably want to talk about your degrees and how much debt you have for them which is why you’re writing a book, so you can guilt people into buying it. If you write sci-fi, your bio should maybe have a picture of you in that full Klingon outfit you wore to the last Star Trek convention (can it please have that picture, pleeeeease?). If you write for kids, it should probably be funny. Duh!

Your bio will always reflect your writing style because you’re writing it (unless you want ME to write it, in which case, I only charge a small fee!) But it should also reflect the tone of the book, blog, or place where it appears. One of my favorite bios is on the back of my Al Gore biography. Since it’s part of a Conservation Heroes series, I went all conservation-y by adding: “… she loves everything in nature except for mosquitoes and birds that poop on her Prius.” My editor said it was the first time anyone had successfully worked the word “poop” into the back cover of one of their books.

Which cracked us both up. And hopefully some readers.

So you see what I mean about the naughty words.

Now go nuts.

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