Scars on my leg from the burn; on my chest from the port access for chemo.
So the house is cleansed. As a parting shot, whatever blight was on its way out caused me to burn my leg. It hurt like the dickens and will probably leave a permanent mark. That’s OK. I can take a hit. I have plenty of other scars and I love them ALL. They’re proof I’m badass, have done shit, have taken blows and survived.
Immediately following the cleansing, I began to feel better–about everything–though nothing in my life had changed, but that’s kind of the point, isn’t it? The positive vibes, including the ones from all of you, were everywhere. It all helped. I was feeling lucky and grateful, something I hadn’t felt in months despite getting to the end of cancer treatments a little over two months ago. So this morning I was looking for a quote about writing and magic and found this one:
“That’s the thing with magic. You’ve got to know it’s still here, around us, or it just stays invisible for you.” — Charles de Lint
So today, my wish for all of us is that we believe in our own magic so that it stays visible all around us, and transforms the impossible into possible, the negative into positive, the block into flow.
As for me, I am writing again. I believe in the possibility of creating again. I penned a truly horrible poem just to prove that I wasn’t taking it all so seriously (a. No, I was not purposefully trying to make it bad, it just came out that way, and b. Don’t worry, I will not deface your eyeballs with it). And for the foreseeable future, as far as my writing is concerned, I’m just going to do whatever the hell I want.
Tracey Baptiste 
We’ve all got the magic inside of us–sometimes it just takes a good cleansing to find it again! I’m so happy that you’re feeling grateful again as I strongly believe that this attitude alone will bring even more goodness into your life! Love the photo of you with your scars– especially your port scar as it is a mark of your bravery and strength!!! (my daughter Isa has one in the exact same place.) Happy writing, Tracey!
I’ve stopped in the middle of a bad day to imagine magic. If anything rains down on me, blossoms, or gnats, or leaves, I imagine angels dusting me. It definitely changes my mood and I feel blessed again.
I think this is the good news: that the magic is always there, waiting to be tapped in to. It’s just the small matter of remembering it’s there, and accessing it.
I heart this post. Not only do I love the message, but I love celebrating that you “are badass, have done shit, have taken blows and survived.” Write on, my friend, and may the magic continue to shine!
You’re My Hero. You have this superb edge—a necessary human trait— allowing you to stand tall when the winds are darn tough. My admiration is pure and sincere; it gives me great warmth to believe your family admires your courage on this road. There must be nothing that can stop you from blogging and sending all your determination. Thank you for the post. It’s a blessing to see you here.
Thanks, Remo. I feel very grateful for the little online community I’ve formed. It still surprises me that anyone reads what I write, but I am always, always boosted by your presence, even if it’s a simple “like.”
oh my god… thank you! funny how things float ones way at just the right time. experiencing a bit of self-loathing tonight… your words made a difference. maybe I found a little of my own magic. (darn it if it doesn’t have the best hiding places..ever!)
Magic does hide! Crazy magic. But Jenni, I wanted to tell you that your poetry posts have me writing poetry again. (Which may or may not be a good thing.)
Go for it! You’ve made me make a shot at it too, even if I find it hard these days to really concentrate long enough to get what’s in my head down on the page.
Let the magic flow my friend!! 🙂
Thanks Judith!