This was an old joke that cracked up my brother and me when we were kids, mainly because our parents used the word “jackass.” I was waiting for the day I could tell it to my own children, but Lane Smith beat me to it. You know the joke, sometimes called “The Thirsty Donkey”… a man and his donkey walk for days, and the donkey keeps asking for water. The master always responds, “patience, Jackass, patience.” But as the joke goes on and on, someone listening eventually gets impatient and asks when they’ll get to the punch line, which is when the person telling the joke says, “patience, Jackass, patience.” Hilarity ensues.
I’m feeling like the impatient listener today, as I wait for the punch line: some news about a piece I wrote. If you ever want time to stand still, send out a manuscript. Clocks fail. Time stretches immeasurably. Einstein looks like a fool. (Time isn’t relative to your speed. It’s relative to a speedy reply.) And no matter how many times I refresh my email, or look at my phone, time refuses to budge. So the only thing I can do is say to myself,
patience, Jackass, patience
until time starts moving again.