7 fantasy writer’s tools

I bet I could be a better writer if I had all these things at my disposal:

1. A neverending cup of perfect-temperature chai tea.

2. A brain-plug for my laptop so that the ideas in my head download neatly-typed onto the screen with one keystroke.

3. An on-call beta reader for when I’m not sure if this paragraph… this one right here… is worth the digital ink.

4. A weekly award for working your butt off. We could call it the Butties.

5. A well-established writer/mentor to commiserate with over tea.

6. A (cuss) printer that doesn’t (cuss) jam everytime I try to (cuss) print.

7. A mailbox that automatically disintegrates talent-numbing rejection letters.